Funny English names picked by Chinese people
seanboyce88

It is pretty common for Chinese people, especially the young, to have an English name, partly because it seems fashionable, and partly because English names facilitate communication with foreigners. Unfortunately, many of the English names they adopt are often funny, and sometimes ridiculous, to native speakers. Here is a list of some of the funny names one of our bloggers from the UK have come across in China. If you disagree or have something new to add to the list, you're welcome to leave your comments here.

Peter Pan or other fictional characters

You should never name yourself after fictional characters from books as it's weird having to reference you in passing. "So yeah, I was out with Peter Pan the other day..." and it just leaves you open for obvious jokes like, "Was Tinkerbelle with you?" Please leave these names alone. This includes Harry Potter, Edward Cullen or any other fictional character. Please...


Brad Pitt or other celebrities

This is on par with me calling myself 李小龙 (Bruce Lee). Let's admit it, it sounds pretty bad if you call out a celebrity's name when you see your friend in public. Again, if you like the name Brad then use it, drop the Pitt and we will be fine.

Candy, Honey or other names synoymous with the "night girls"

I really don't want to offend anyone who does in fact have the names that I am about to mention but just to let you know, these are names commonly seen as, well...synonymous with "ladies of the night" and "Page 3 girls". These names include Candy, Crystal, Coco, Candice, Sweetie, Honey and Sugar. There are more but none come to mind right now. You may think it sounds cute when translated but in reality it doesn't sound too good as a name.


Using Happy, Sleepy and other adjectives as names

I have a few Chinese friends who do this. I don't want to name and shame for fear of them ever reading this, so I will keep it simple and create a few of my own. Names like Happy, Sleepy and Dopey make you sound like you should be following about a somewhat rather stupid princess from a Disney movie. When I see you I always want to burst into "Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to work we go."

Ace

This one I loved personally. I mean, it's weird but it had a certain charm, I suppose. Ace is like, either making yourself sound like you are the greatest being who walked this earth and frequently have a poker night with God on Thursdays, or like the most awesome pet detective ever. If it is for the latter reason, I am all for you keeping your name in all honesty. Like fictional characters from books, this one is also to be avoided.


Apple, Orange, and any other fruits

Come on people, watermelon, orange and apple are not names. If I called myself 西瓜 (Watermelon)，you would think it a very strange name. It is exactly the same in English. Don't name yourself after fruits, period.


iPhone or any other brand name

Apple products, or any brand name....it's just not a name...just...no.

Octopus or any other animals

Naming yourself after an animal is also pretty strange in English. Now I know, for example, the family name 马 means horse, so I don't think it's too weird as I do understand to an extent where you are coming from (Although with octopus, I really wasn't sure). But it's better not to if you want your name to sound normal.